Here
by illuminare
Summary: A story from Lexie's point of view as she says goodbye to Mark and focuses on her relationship with Jackson. Jackson/Lexie with mentions of Mark/Lexie.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, or any of the characters from the show. Duh.**

**Author's note: Fluff, fluff, and more fluff. This isn't really a song fanfiction, but the title is from the song "Here" by Rascal Flatts. I obviously don't own that song either. It doesn't really play into the story at all, but I think the lyrics describe Lexie's feelings for Jackson, kind of. At least in my mind (:**

You push the door open and step into Joe's bar, grateful to be out of the cool Seattle weather. As you make your way to the bar, you shrug off your coat and drape it over the back of the nearest bar stool, sitting down at the bar and running your fingers through your hair while waiting for Joe to pass you a beer. You thank him when he slides a bottle across the counter, catching it and taking a drink. Glancing at your watch, you note that you have forty-five minutes to kill before Jackson gets done with his shift and arrives at the bar to bring you home with him.

You shift in your seat when someone brushes up against you and takes the seat next to you. You reflexively freeze when you recognize the voice of the newcomer who asks Joe for a beer. Taking a deep breath, you breathe in the familiar scent of his cologne, closing your eyes for a moment, allowing yourself to replay a few memories before trying to decide how you should react.

Mark watches as Lexie realizes it's him, his heart twisting in his chest when she stiffens. He missed the days when she would greet him with a smile and a soft kiss on the lips. He missed how comfortable the two of them had been around each other, how perfectly they had fit together. He missed the way she felt in his arms, the way they fell asleep tangled in the sheets, her dark curls in his face, their fingers laced together as they slept. He missed the days before Sloan; he missed the days before Callie and the baby, before everything had gotten so damn complicated.

You take a long drink from your beer before turning slightly to face him. For what seems like an eternity, you just look at each other, lost for words. The look of deep sorrow and remorse in his light blue eyes stirs up many conflicting emotions inside of you. You sigh softly and simply shake your head, unsure where to start. You want to scream at him, you want to hit him until your hands ache; you want to demand to know how he could put you through this hell _again_ if he really loved you like he said he did, like he _swears_ he still does. You want to break down and cry; you want to let him bring you to his apartment where the two of you would repeat the familiar dance of making up. You want to fall asleep in his strong arms, breathing in the smell of him. You want to tell him to stay the hell away from you, to give you a chance to actually be happy, because _yes_, damn it, you _can_ be happy without him. _Nobody has just one soul mate._

"Lexie..." Mark stops, trying to think of something──anything to make her his again. He knew there were no words to heal the wounds he had caused. He couldn't go back in time and chose to not sleep with Callie, but he wished like hell that he could. Yes, the thought of being a father excited him; the chance to do it _right_ this time was something he couldn't ignore. But the situation was not ideal. Callie loved Arizona, and he loved Lexie. He loved Lexie Grey, but with every passing day, he and Callie were one day closer to being parents. Once again he was being pulled in two directions, torn between the woman he loved and his child, his responsibility. Déjà vu.

You bite your tongue, waiting for him to speak. You can almost see the thoughts rolling through his brain, crashing into each other like a thunderstorm of conflicting thoughts, things he's dying to say to you. You drink the last of your beer and you wait.

Mark runs his fingers through his hair and exhales loudly, staring into Lexie's big brown eyes and shaking his head. "Lexie, I love you. I know it doesn't look like it, and I know that this whole situation makes me look like a whore, but that's not me, not anymore. I know I can't undo the things I've done, I know there's nothing I can do or say to erase the pain that I've caused you, but I love you, Lexie Grey. I love you."

The way he looks at you when he says those three words, you feel as though you could almost drown in the depths of his blue eyes. You know you can't take him back, not after everything he has put you through. Not now, maybe not ever. You've moved on, and although you still feel a dull stab of pain in your heart every time you see him, you're strong without him. And now there's Jackson Avery, a man you never saw yourself with, but he stood by your side through it all. He slowly helped you heal, simply by bringing home beer and a movie after a long day at work, or by leaving peanut butter cups in your locker in the morning just to cheer you up. The tiny things he did for you made your heart feel like it might explode with love for that gorgeous bronze-skinned, green-eyed doctor from Mercy West who made you feel more alive than you have felt in a long, _long_ time.

You loved Mark, and maybe a small part of you still does, but there's just too much history there. It's too complicated. You can't date a man who is going to have a child with another woman and her partner. You simply do not fit into the Callie-Arizona-Mark love triangle. There is no room for you in his life, and you have come to accept that fact, but Mark has not. You can't blame him for not wanting to give up hope, but there came a point when you had to stop believing that maybe someday, _somehow_ the two of you could actually make it work.

"I know."

It's all you can say. Words just don't cut it. Words will only make this situation more painful than it already is. You offer a small smile, but it fades almost as soon as it appears. There is no way to make this relationship work, you know it and he knows it. Mark waits for you to say more, and you shrug, shaking your head again. "There's no room for me in your life, Mark, you have to accept that fact. I know you didn't mean to put us in this position, but this is where we stand, and there's no undoing what's been done. I don't know how it's going to work with you and Callie and Arizona and the baby, but I do know that there isn't a place for me in that life."

For a moment Mark doesn't move, he just sits there staring past Lexie, his mouth open slightly as if the air has been knocked out of him. Finally he turns to the bar and picks up his beer, draining it and setting the empty bottle on the counter, exhaling slowly before turning back to Lexie. "I love you, Lex. I wish I could offer you more than this. This was never my plan."

You feel a twinge of pain at the way Mark says it all. He made his bed, but you still feel like somehow you're partially to blame for his heartbreak. In a small way, you are guilty, but what other choice do you have? You can't go back to him. You know you don't belong in his new circle. "I know, Mark. This isn't anyone's fault, there's just nothing we can do." You hold Mark's gaze for what seems like hours, wishing there was an easier way to put your past to rest. You freeze when he leans in and kisses your lips softly, brushing his fingers along your jaw gently. You think about shoving him away but don't. You let the kiss linger, just for a moment, before pulling back.

Mark clears his throat and looks away, and when his eyes meet yours again, you can see tears glistening in them. "I'm sorry." He says softly, taking a drink from the fresh beer Joe passed to him.

Sliding off the bar stool, you hug him gently, wrapping your arms around his waist the way you used to, taking a deep breath as you lay your head against his chest. When he wraps his arms around your shoulders, you close your eyes and hold on to him. You didn't realize that ending this chapter of your life would be so hard. When you finally let go, you exhale slowly and he takes another drink of beer. You slip on your coat and scarf and look to the door, seeing Jackson outside, walking across the street towards the bar. Turning to Mark, you offer a small smile and slide your hands into your pockets. "Goodbye, Mark." You say softly before turning and walking to the door where Jackson Avery waits for you. You take his outstretched hand and smile as he pulls you close, running your fingers along his jaw as he presses a gentle kiss to your lips.

Jackson glances back at Mark and frowns, meeting your eyes as he brushes your hair back from your face. "Are you okay?" He asks softly, letting his eyes sweep over you.

You smile and squeeze his hand. "I'm better now that you're here." You lean your head against his shoulder as he slides an arm around your waist and leads you out of the bar, slipping your arm beneath his coat and around his waist, your fingers running along the top of his jeans, feeling his warm skin beneath his shirt.

Jackson presses a kiss to the top of her head, breathing in the floral smell of her hair. "You look gorgeous tonight, Lexie." He murmurs, pulling her closer to keep her warm as they walked to his car. He holds the passenger side door open for her and helps her in, shutting the door behind her and hurrying around the front of the car, slipping in behind the steering wheel and closing the door. He turns to Lexie as he starts up the car, reaching over and brushing his fingers through her hair. He runs his fingertips along the soft skin of her neck before pulling her close and kissing her lips firmly. He moans softly when she kisses him back harder, placing a hand on his thigh and squeezing it gently. He breaks the kiss and leans his forehead against hers, staring into her eyes and breathing a little harder. "I want you."

Smiling wickedly, you nip at his bottom lip and slide your hand farther up his thigh, grinning when you feel his muscles tense at your touch. "Take me home, Jackson."

* * *

><p>You moan against Jackson's soft lips as he kisses you passionately, running one hand up along your thigh and bracing his other arm against the passenger door to support his weight as he leans over you. You tip your head back against the seat of his car, giving him easier access to your neck, and you can't help but shiver as he licks and sucks on the hollow of your collarbone. "Jackson, let's go inside." You whisper, giggling when he buries his face in your neck and growls, the sound tickling your skin.<p>

Jackson sits up and kisses your lips hard. "Come on then, let's go."

You fling the car door open and slip outside, squealing when Jackson grabs you around the waist and holds you tightly against his chest, sucking on the back of your neck as his fingers slip beneath the waistline of your jeans. You giggle as you pry his hands away and run to the front door, glancing back over your shoulder to see that he's only a few steps behind you. When he catches you, you squeal again and laugh as he spins you around and presses you back against the front door. His strong arms slip around your waist and his lips find the sweet spot where your neck meets your shoulder. He runs a hand through your dark curls when you tip your head back, tightening his grip around your waist and pulling your body flush against his.

Jackson grabs the doorknob and twists it, guiding Lexie backwards through the door and into the dark foyer. He locks the door behind them and helps her take off her coat, hanging it up and putting his own next to hers, kicking off his shoes and turning back to Lexie, who had also slipped out of her shoes and was turning around to face him. He pulls her to him and kisses her passionately, lifting her up into his arms when she slides her arms around his neck.

You wrap your legs around Jackson's waist and kiss his neck softly, holding on tightly as he grabs your thighs and carries you through the hallway and towards his bedroom. He pushes the door open and kicks it shut behind him, kissing your lips hard before dropping you on the bed. You prop yourself up on one arm and watch as he strips off his shirt, letting your eyes drift over his perfectly sculpted chest and abdomen. You smirk as he slowly unbuttons his jeans, his eyes never once leaving yours. He pushes his jeans down his hips and lets them fall to the floor, standing at the foot of his bed wearing nothing but a smirk and pair of black boxers.

Jackson straddles your thighs and kisses from your forehead to your nose to your lips, his fingers slowly unbuttoning your navy blue top, sitting back and helping you push off the shirt, throwing it aside and running his fingers softly over your purple bra, tracing the patterns in the lace as his lips made a trail of kisses from your throat down to your breasts, kissing the valley between them and continuing down your torso. Your breath catches in your throat when he licks your navel slowly, squirming beneath him as he tickles you with his tongue. You relax when he relents and covers your stomach with soft kisses, shivering in anticipation as he unbuttons your jeans.

Standing up again, Jackson slips his fingers beneath the waistline of your jeans and slides the material down along your legs as you lift your hips enough for him to pull them down. You lie back on the bed and allow him to remove your jeans, moaning in appreciation as he massages one of your feet, pressing light kisses along your smooth leg.

Jackson kneels on the end of the bed and runs his fingers along Lexie's calf, massaging it with strong hands as he kisses her knee, smiling as he watches her stretch out and relax on his spacious bed, reaching her arms above her head and closing her eyes. He rests her ankle on his shoulder and rubs her thigh firmly,pressing kisses all over her lower leg.

You moan and open your eyes, watching him as he massages your leg. You let your gaze wander, watching the muscles in his arms flex and relax as he rubs you down. "If you give up on surgery for any reason, I think you have a promising career in massage therapy."

Jackson laughs, noticing how intently she is watching his arms. "Do you want me to do your other leg too?" When you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him down to you, he laces his fingers through your hair and kisses your lips sweetly. "I'll take that as a no, then." He murmurs, his lips grazing yours as he speaks.

You smile against his lips and run your fingers along his arms, tracing his muscles and meeting his gaze when he breaks the kiss and pulls back to look at you. He slips one arm beneath you, wrapping it around your waist and holding you securely, propping himself up above you with his other arm. Taking a deep breath, you find comfort in his musky scent, and as you nearly lose yourself in his eyes, you see the depth of his feelings for you shining in those brilliant green orbs. And as he delicately tucks a wisp of hair behind your ear and leans in to reclaim your lips, here in his arms, you know without a doubt that Jackson Avery would never do anything to hurt you.


End file.
